Genealogy

Faith in Christ Jesus is what makes each of you equal with each other. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave or free, woman or man. Gal 3:28

Our small group is reading Kenneth Bailey’s book Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes. The first chapter of the book touches on Jesus’ birth, the manger scene, the genealogy of Christ, etc. Which seems fitting for the time of the year, but truthfully, I thought it was a mite humdrum. This again. Particularly since he dedicated a whole five pages of small font to the genealogy. C’mon. Let’s get to the meat.

But actually, as I’ve sat on his thoughts over the last week, I’ve come to realize the smashing importance of Matthew’s first introduction to Jesus.

Galatians 3:28 is a particularly meaningful verse to me- the idea that God does not see my gender or my socioeconomic status or my race- He sees who I am and accepts me and wants to use me as a leader for good based on my faith and not anything else. But this is but one verse and I didn’t quite see how it explicitly tied into everything else, to Jesus’ life or messages. He didn’t exactly come from a colorblind/genderblind/economicblind society.

Which makes Matthew’s genealogy outrageous and eye-popping. He includes women in the genealogy. He includes gentiles in the genealogy. He includes kings and prostitutes and shepherds in the genealogy. In the Middle East, genealogies are supposed to be lists of the famous men in a man’s history. But Matthew did it differently. He did it differently because the essence of Jesus’ message is different than the message of his culture (and of our culture). Jesus’ values are fundamentally different.

And this difference continues throughout the story of the birth of Jesus. The angel of the Lord appears to both the woman Mary and the man Joseph. Both the poor, Jewish shepherds and the wealthy, gentile wise men are invited to worship Jesus on the day of birth.

Maybe as you read this reflection you think, eh, c’mon, let’s head towards the meat of the story. But in truth, this Christmas was different for me because I was so clearly reminded of the consistency of Jesus’ message. From his birth to his death, He has invited me to be involved- to worship at his feet, to experience visions, and to offer gifts (as meagre as they are). This Christmas I felt humbled that he would invite me and I felt emboldened because he HAS invited me.

Holy God, thank you for inviting me and accepting me and loving me and knowing me and still loving me. Let my whole life be an act of worship.

Food for Dogs

She came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” And he answered, “It is not fair to take the children’s bread and throw it to little dogs.” Matt 15:21-28

This story about the Canaanite woman asking Jesus to help her is troubling, embarrassing. He seems so cold. At first Jesus doesn’t even answer the woman, and then he says this heartless speech about not giving food to dogs- insinuating that this woman is a dog. It’s confusing. It’s inconsistent with the other messages Jesus has taught.

So I tried to step back- to look at the bigger picture of what is going on. Jesus just came from giving his inaugural speech in Nazareth where he uses two gentiles as examples of what it is to love. He talks about not judging others until we have taken the pikes out of our own eyes. And then here he is now, surrounded by his disciples, with a person- a woman and a gentile- who is asking for help. This seems like a teaching moment, a moment where he requires his disciples to take a look at the logs in their eyes while also choosing to give the woman a critical test- one that she passes with grace and humility.

In those days, self-respecting rabbis NEVER spoke to women. To give you a taste of the mindset of the era, a Jerusalem scholar Ben Sirach wrote a book of proverbs, which includes this gem: A man’s spite is preferable to a woman’s kindness; women give rise to shame and reproach (Sir 42:14).

To the disciples, Jesus ignoring the woman was a culturally appropriate response- it is consistent with the worldview with which the disciples were comfortable. You can just see their red-faced embarrassment. Send her away, for she is crying after us. They catch each other’s eyes and jog each other’s ribs- doesn’t she know this is wholly improper and unacceptable?

Jesus wants to address these ingrained prejudices. He JUST finished speaking about it and yet the disciples STILL didn’t get the clue. Rather than giving the disciples a lecture, he says out loud what they are thinking- he carries their mixed-up theology to it’s ultimate conclusion- this woman should be thrown out because you think she is no better than a scroungy dog.

It’s acutely humiliating to hear your deepest prejudices voiced. You’re forced to look at it- to see it oozing and unkind out in the open. That’s what Jesus did- because until the ugly is taken into the light, it cannot be healed.

And what about that woman? With all humility she lowers herself to the place of a dog. She doesn’t try to argue herself to a better social standing or try to justify herself as human deserving dignity and respect. She is unwaveringly confident in the goodness of Jesus- the One Who Brings Salvation to All. And He is impressed. And He is full of love. And He grants what she desires.

I feel without words. My insides ache, because I see that I am more like the disciples in this situation- I have ideas of How Things Should Be and my ugly is out there- oozing.

Holy God, heal me. Help me to have faith in your in your goodness- to trust that your love extends out to all, including to me. Let your spirit of peace rest on me.

My Least Favorite Vegetable

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind…And Love others as much as you love yourself. Matt 22:37-40

This tends to be one of those pep rally Christian verses…You know, Ra Ra, let’s love God BETTER…Let’s DO things for Him!! We all get riled up and run around starting small groups and serving food at homeless shelters. For a whole week we do a really good job managing our behavior…But the thing is, actually this verse isn’t at all about doing things. It’s about LOVING. Which begs the question…

Do I find God loveable?

Or do I have an allegiance to Him? Or do I serve Him? Service and allegiance are WAY different than loving.

I, in fact, think that sometimes I treat God like lima beans- my least favorite vegetable (or is it a legume?). I either don’t eat lima beans at all, or if I’m stuck at someone else’s house and worried about being rude, I can kinda eat one or two and shuffle the rest around so that it LOOKS like I did a good job eating them. That’s what I do to God- I either just don’t even think about Him, or if I’m in one of those situations where it’s unavoidable, I do the bare minimum to look good and on top of my game…but mostly I’m just shuffling around trying to hide the junk.

If I don’t actually find God to be loveable, then there’s no way I will love Him. And if I don’t love Him, it seems that probably I’m missing the boat.

So if I don’t love God, apparently whatever it is that I’ve been doing to serve Him and to be allegiant to Him are NOT effective ways of making me love Him. So I need to do something else.

When I hear the phrase, however, You need to do something else, all my little bells start clanging…My tendency in the past was to stop and shout, “We cannot EARN our grace. We can’t DO things to have us love Him.” But actually, I think very often I confused WORKING and EARNING. God is really definite on the point that He is opposed to us earning our grace. But He is NOT opposed to us working. The truth is that getting to know God is work. Building a relationship with Him doesn’t happen through osmosis by hanging out with Christians who seem to have it together. Building a relationship doesn’t happen through God Super-Wammo Zapping you. It takes effort and time and more effort to get to know someone. To get to know Him.

And, frankly, I would propose that if we don’t find God loveable, it’s us, not Him that needs to change.

So how do we change, in our deepest core, how we see God? How can I learn to see God as loveable?

That seems to be the elusive magic question, doesn’t it? One that I really don’t have answer to….But I suppose, I guess one thing that was sort of helpful for me was reading the Gospels all the way through- quickly- like a Twilight book. Not nitpicking over theological points, but seeing Jesus as person. By seeing his tenderness. By seeing his in-your-face statements of justice. By weeping over his humiliating death.

Beauty for Ashes

The man answered, ‘Who put you in charge of us and made you judge? Are you planning to kill me, just as you killed that Egyptian?’ Exodus 2:14

This “Moses escapes from Egypt” section of the book of Exodus is one that I usually scan quickly. It’s short. It doesn’t seem to make that big of an impression- it’s just a transition. It’s not really referenced again later. But then again.

But then again, as I was reading this week, I recognized that this story is a story I’ve heard before- the one that goes “You have to hit rock bottom before you can go up.” The one that goes, “You have to lose your life before you can gain it back.”

Moses was put in a place of privilege. He grew up in a palace. He was privy to the most elite education system of the day. The world was at his fingertips. And man, this Moses had an agenda. Social justice was the name of his game. Liberation for all. He saw abuse and rolled up his sleeves. He fought for justice his way, to the best of his ability. But the thing is, when he did things his way- in his own strength and wisdom- hardship, blood, and isolation were the results. He in fact murdered a person in the name of justice. The people he was trying to save hated him and his adopted family had a warrant out for his arrest.

But isn’t that often how it is? I put on my best do-gooder face and try to fix people or fix situations to the best of my ability. But my abilities are actually quite unhelpful. At the end of the day people are madder at each other, I’m discouraged and I feel like there’s no point to doing anything.

That’s what Moses thought too. He went and plopped himself in Boondocks Nowheresville and worked as a sheepherder where he’d be sure not to mess anything up. He put his head down and ignored the plight of others.

But that wasn’t what God wanted either.

God is very interested in investing in the lives of others. God is very interested in us investing in the lives of others. But the thing is, if we try to play the deliverer on our own strength we will fail. Straight up. Things will be worse.

As soon as we step back, however, and acknowledge our helplessness, things happen. When we throw ourselves into doing what God wants, relying on His power and His wisdom, helping others almost becomes a ballet. Each twist and turn becomes purposeful and as we reflect on the day we can laugh and clap with delight, because beauty rises up out of the ashes.

Holy God, heal the ache in my heart. Help me to TRUST you, to hand over the reigns of my life. Bring your healing to this world, to those that are suffering. Help me to believe that you love others more than I love others. Use me. Infuse me with yourself.

Cussin' Long Night

When they saw him, they thought he was a ghost. They were terrified and started screaming.

Matt 14:22-32

Being in the middle is sometimes the worst spot. After a whole long day of miracles and teaching, Jesus sends his disciples across the lake while he himself goes away to have some alone time. The disciples know how to manoeuvre boats, they know the lake, the surrounding areas really well, and honestly, they only had a measly three-hour boat ride ahead of them. But then the lake gets choppy and a three-hour boat ride turns into an all-night, nine-hour struggle. And man, after having been awake all day and in the sun and now being awake all night, I can imagine that these disciples are pooped. And what happens when you are pooped and in the middle of an expansive, seemingly eternal activity? Tempers get high. Everyone gets crabby. No one feels spiritual. I can imagine there was a little bit of cussing on that boat, a little bit of James stop touching me or Peter, you’re rowing crooked again. I can imagine that it got to that moment of Okay, here we are. We are just going to put our heads down and row and focus and get ‘er done. And if you jog my elbow again I’m going to punch you.

So in the midst of all that tunnel vision rowing, Jesus shows up. But the problem is,

Stress + Unknown Quantity Walking on Water = FREAK OUT. And don’t we all freak out? Don’t we all have those moments of What in the world? Is God actually doing something or is it just my tired imagination screwing with me? Does God even exist or am I whirled up in a wild game of make-believe and really, isn’t it true that everything is meaningless? Why do we even live? Does that happen to you? It happens to me.

Doubt is one of those old, taught-for-generation ruts deeply ingrained in the human psyche. It’s my number one, go-to mechanism in the face of well, just about any situation. But the thing is, I also believe that The Enemy jerks and jolts on our old doubt strings to try to distract us from the fact that God’s mercy is near. That God’s mercy is about to wash over and clean out the crud from our eyes that keeps us from seeing clearly. That keeps us from seeing The King. Help is near.

Isn’t it challenging how Peter jumped out of the boat even though he wasn’t SURE in his deepest knower that it was actually Jesus? He wasn’t SURE that his imagination wasn’t leading him on a wild goose chase, making him see things that didn’t exist? How often am I willing to breath deeply and take action even though some Gollum voice in me tells me that maybe I’m crazy? And as Peter was floundering about trying to pursue who he thought was God, Jesus was there and created peace and clarity in the havoc. Help was near.

Help is near.

Jesus, allow your mercy to wash over us so that we see things as they are. Allow your light of hope and peace to penetrate our dark minds.

A Living Sacrifice

“My Father” she replied, “you have given your word to the Lord. Do to me just as you promised, now that the Lord has avenged you of your enemies, the Ammonites.”

Judges 11: 36

So last month I was thinking about how God provides for his people, like how He provided an offering for Abraham so that Isaac would not be killed. In Leviticus 20:1-5, God makes it really clear that the Israelites are not to be anything like the Ammonites, who sacrifice children to the god Molech- in fact, if parents do offer their daughter or son to be killed, God demanded that those parents be stoned. God hates it that much. He does not condone this human bloodshed. So then I started thinking about old Jephthah. How come God didn’t step in for Jephthah’s daughter and provide an alternate sacrifice? Was the situation somehow different?

First off, a fast list of important things to think about when reading this story:
- burnt offerings are always supposed to be male

- human sacrifice is strictly forbidden by God

- the daughter was mourning the fact that she would “never marry,” NOT that she was “going to be killed”

- burnt flesh offerings are associated with atonement for sin, not with thanksgiving

With these questions gnawing at the brain I started reading. And what I’ve found (thank you so much, Mr. Google Scholar) is an understanding is that his daughter was offered up to be the Lord’s as a living sacrifice. The daughter would never marry and would be sent to live in the temple (sort of like how Hannah offered Samuel to the Lord and sent him to live in the temple when he was seven, sort of like the New Testament Anna who lived in the temple worshipping). It makes sense then that we see Japhthah’s daughter go up into the hills and weep because she will never marry. It makes sense then that at the end of verse 39 the writer highlights, “and she was a virgin,” NOT “and she was dead.”

So does it matter if Japhthah’s daughter was not actually killed but rather given to the House of the Lord? Does it really make a difference? Well, heck yeah it does!! She was called to be a living sacrifice, just as we are called to be living sacrifices. God doesn’t want us DEAD- He wants us to be willing to hand over our lives and our wills so that He will be the center of our life fulfilment and joy.

The daughter was put between a rock and hard place…she really didn’t have any options. Her father made a decision and for the rest of her life she had to bear the consequences of that decision. Her life dreams and secret hopes of being a wife and a mother were just swept out from under her. So at that point, she has one choice: she can live in the temple and hate every minute of it and scowl all day long, or she can live in the temple and learn to appreciate the way the light dances on the polished marble floors and she can breath deeply and sense the Holy Presence and she can choose to serve those around her with graciousness and love. And isn’t that often the One Choice we have too? A lot of the times we find ourselves in a spot with no wiggle room…sometimes it’s our fault, sometimes not. And really, our only decision is whether or not we will face that circumstance well.

Jesus, thank you for your kindness to us, for giving us strength to face one moment at a time. Help us to look to you when our knees are weak and our hearts are tired.

The Locus of Control

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it John 9:24

Pop quiz question: What is the difference between choosing to serve and choosing to be a servant?

I have been thinking all week on this question and I’ve finally decided that when you choose to serve, you still have control. You can choose when you are going to serve, under what circumstance, to whom, and for how long. You can work it into your schedule…Something along the lines of, On Saturday from 10 to 12 I am going to heroically serve my community. After I serve I am going to reward myself for being such a good worker by taking myself out to B-Line for an afternoon treat. Seriously. This is how I go about serving.

When you choose to be a servant, however, you lose the locus of control. As a servant you have to get up in the middle of the night if your employer needs a cherry flavoured cough suppressant. You have to leave whatever it is you are doing at the drop of a hat, even if it’s really important to you, to tend to someone else’s whim, hunger, desire to talk, streak of vindictiveness, anything. A servant has no rights.

The immediate thought that comes to mind when I consider life as a servant is, But then everyone is going to walk all over me. How can I teach people appropriate boundaries and model a healthy approach to interpersonal relationships if I don’t instruct others on ways of treating other people? Really, in the long run, I will be doing a disservice to others if I act like a servant.

But let’s get real. At this point in my life there is no line forming of people wanting to tell me I am too self-sacrificial and too overly generous with my time and energy. This is not my problem in life. More likely my real problem is my white-knuckled hold on getting my way. More likely my real problem is that I one hundred percent look out for myself and spend an embarrassing amount of time obsessing about how I can get more stuff for my house rather than thinking of ways that I can look out for the best interest of others.

So why does Jesus call us to lose our life? I think he calls us to lose our life so that we can be happy. Which sounds a little off (Christians don’t like to talk about happiness…joy is the preferred go-to word), but really, when you think about it, life is way happier when you don’t have to get your way. You don’t have to worry about ulterior motives or being manipulated if you’ve already decided to do whatever the person wants. You don’t have to worry about someone stealing from you if you’ve already chosen to give them everything. You don’t have to fuss over your afternoon being wasted if you’ve already decided that the day is theirs. Nothing can be lost if you’ve already chosen to let go.

Knowing God

So Abraham called that place, The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the Lord, it will be provided. Genesis 22:14

How could Abraham know the character of God? I guess the question becomes even more pressing when you think about the gods HE would have known about having lived in the land of Ur. The land of Ur was a rough place to be in terms of the gods/people relationship. They had lots and lots of gods- rain gods, moon gods, goddesses of fertility-and all those gods required human blood and human sacrifice and well, lots of temple prostitution. Usually children and infants were given to the gods to fulfil these requirements. So again, how could Abraham possibly know the character of THIS God? Was THIS God mean? Was He passive? Was He angry? Did He require lots of good deeds? Lots of bad deeds? How could one know?

It seems to me that God had an invested interest in letting Abraham know exactly His character. When Abraham sold his off wife not once, but TWICE, God showed Abraham that He was merciful and willing to save Abraham from his own short-sightedness (and, cough, stupidity). When Sarah laughed at the angels for saying that she was going to have a child, God showed them that He is a God with a sense of humor, ie: instead of smiting them for laughing at the messengers, He told them to name their son “Laughter.” When Abraham and Sarah took baby matters into their own hands by having Abraham hook up with Hagar, God showed kindness to Hagar by giving her food and water in the desert and STILL followed through with His promise to give Abraham and Sarah a son. But somehow Abraham just didn’t quite get it. Abraham says to God, “Far be it from you to rain destruction down on the righteous as well as the wicked. Far be it from you. Will you do what is right?” This is a challenge. Who is so bold as to challenge God to “do what is right?” Who questions the fundamental goodness of God?

So then God pulled the ultimate reversal. He becomes an actor, a playwright. He told Abraham to sacrifice his son…just like those gods and goddesses from Ur. God takes on what appears to be the role of all those other gods that Abraham had known in the past. And then. Just at the crucial moment, God steps in and says “Wait…I’m not that kind of God. I am the God that provides for YOU. You don’t provide for me.” A huge, dramatic gesture that flips Abraham’s ideas of God upside down.

This is an essential understanding. God is letting US know the essence of his character. He is a God that accepts us, that gives us everything we have. HE provides the way for us to know Him. It is not my sacrifices, nor my commitments to do good and be friendly, nor my determinations to talk less and stop biting my fingernails that qualify me to know Him.

I feel like this is something that is said a lot- the general message that it is by grace we are saved. But really, it’s hard for me to internalize. I still write my lists about how to be a better person and I kinda worry that God doesn’t like me very much because I was wretchedly vindictive and petty the other day. I mean today. And yesterday. And the day before that. But again, He is the one that provides for me. I can only stand before Him with my hands open and empty.

Holy God, help me to trust you. Help me to keep my eyes open to where you are working and to move forward with humility and love.

A Grandpa Summer

This summer I’ve spent quite a bit of time with my grandpa. Usually he knows who I am. He’ll get a big grin and say something like, “Why, it’s my little HB.” HB, of course, being short for Heather Baby. But sometimes I am Christy. Or Jenny. Or little girl. Dustin basically has been relegated permanently to, “That nice repair man who does things with bicycles.”

Spending time with someone who has lost his memory is…challenging. Sometimes I feel energetic and am really good at telling myself that he didn’t lose his memory on purpose- I have a sense of humor when he comes out with my bra tied around his knee because he thinks it is his ace bandage. But other times I feel angry and I clench my fists because he refuses to take a shower or because it’s the twenty-third time in the last hour that he has asked me when Gramma is coming home. I think if I do a better job explaining or if I talk more slowly it might make a difference. But really it doesn’t. It’s like trying to hold up a sandcastle when the wave washes over.

Thoughts come up when I am with Grandpa. Thoughts like, why do children starve to death? Or, how come God allows people to be born without the ability to see or speak or walk? Or, how come He lets people’s minds slip away?

Grandpa always prays before we eat and his prayer always begins the exact same way. Dear Lord, we are yours. That phrase really sticks in the mind, doesn’t it? We are yours. Sometimes I’m Job, slapping my hand over my mouth- who am I to question the goodness of God. Did I create the stars and the oceans? Did I create laughter? We are yours. Occasionally I intellectualize and I push my red wire frame glasses a bit higher on my nose and think, “Well, working with Grandpa and his dementia has been a great opportunity for me to grow as an individual and I am so much more aware of my deep rooted character flaws and boy oh boy, I’m so glad that God is using this time to make me a stronger person.” We are yours. Really, when it boils down to the very end of a very long day, I feel grateful that it is not me who holds the world in my fingertips. I feel grateful that I can crawl on all fours into the palm of His hands and know that He loves me and cares when I am hurting and when I am tired and when I am discouraged. He cares when Grandpa is hurting and tired and discouraged. And I feel a trace of peace, knowing that we are His.

A Sign of Authority

Every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head…the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head. 

 I Corinthians 11:6a, 10b

So picture Las Vegas. Flashing lights, high rollers, bling. Think of the darker side of Las Vegas. Sex trade, greed, addiction, violence. Now think of Las Vegas but way bigger and with way fewer rules and you’ll have a fairly accurate picture of first century Corinth.

Corinth was a wild cultural melting pot of conservative Judaism, pagan cults, and burgeoning Christianity. It was smack dab in the middle of the trade routes, so EVERYONE stopped by Corinth with money to burn…Which ended up to mean that Corinth had a lot of prostitutes. First century prostitutes did not cover their heads so as to advertise that they were open for business. Later, because they were considered defiled creatures, they were not allowed to cover their heads. In the same way, female slaves were also not allowed to cover their heads because they were considered to be lesser humans. So in short, slave women and ex-prostitutes could not have their heads covered so as to visibly shame and isolate the women- a sign of dishonor (something along the lines of the Puritanical Scarlet Letter).

Paul’s command, therefore, to have ALL the women cover their heads as they publicly prayed and prophesied, was crazy. Was totally revolutionary. It was revolutionary because he was breaking some serious cultural taboos by commanding the church to accept the slave women and ex-prostitutes in the same way as they would accept “pure” and free citizens. He commanded the church to allow these previously rejected women to take up their dignity, to cover their heads just as citizen women were allowed to cover their heads. He commanded the church to identify the women not as sinners, not as slaves, but as daughters of God who were clean and blameless before His sight and as full inheritors of every blessing.

This is amazing. God desires to mend the broken. God desires to give spiritual authority to those deemed wholly worthless by society. He doesn’t want us to carry around our shame and our dishonor. He doesn’t want us to be identified by our past, but rather calls us, commands us, to be new creations- servant leaders- that are identified by our love and worship of Him.

Holy God, I am humbled by your love. I am humbled that you accept me and desire me to be free- free from my past, free from my shame, free from my accusers. Free to love, free to serve, free to speak forth.

The Chief End of Man

And the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden for serving and for keeping. Genesis 2:15

Adam and Eve. There’s lots of hubbub about Adam and Eve these days (partly in thanks to Christianity Today’s new article). Can humankind all come from the same gene pool? What about all those other people in the land of Nod that Cain was afraid of…Where did they come from? Did God really want Adam and Eve’s Big Life Plan to be gardeners? Does that mean I should be a gardener? These are serious questions.

So you may look at this Genesis 2:15 verse I put up and squinch your nose and say something like, wait a second, my NIV says, …Put him in the garden to work it and take care of it. “It,” of course being the garden. Interesting titbit I found. The Hebrew of “to work and care” literally translates to say, “to serve and to keep”. The “it” was added by translators but was not part of the original text. So what is Adam supposed to be “serving and keeping?” It seems rather ambiguous.

So I looked deeper. In Hebrew, the idiomatic interpretation of the phrase “to serve and keep” is “to worship and obey.” It seems, then, that God put Adam in the garden for the express purpose of worshipping and obeying. This strain sounds vaguely familiar. I also found that the literal translation of “to put” means “to set aside” or “to dedicate.” Adam was set aside and dedicated for the express purpose of worshipping and obeying God. What does this sound like? It sounds like what Israel was supposed to be. A people set aside in the Promised Land, wholly dedicated to worshipping God and obeying the Mosaic Law. It makes sense that Adam was basically the first priest, a proto-Israel- God set him aside in a beautiful land to serve and obey Him. Adam and Eve did not obey the law that God set up for them and so Adam and Eve were exiled out of the Garden. The Israelites did not obey the Law and so were exiled to Babylon. Noteworthy correlations, ay?

So what does this mean? Does it even matter if God’s original intent for Adam and Eve was to “work and tend [the garden}” rather than “to worship and obey.” I think so. I think it emphasizes that people were chiefly made to have intimacy and relationship with God. Something along the lines of the Westminster Catechism…The chief end of man is glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

It amazes me that you, the Almighty God, desire intimacy. Thank you for creating a way for me to know you. Help me to live each moment in worship and obedience.

Drinking Water

You have well said, “I have no husband,” for you have had five husbands and the one you are with now is not your husband John 4:17

Well that was kind of a jerk move. Here Jesus is, in Samaria, subverting gender norms by talking to a woman, subverting class norms by talking to a Samaritan, subverting religious norms by talking to a sinner. They engage in conversation. He offers her living water. She responds affirmatively. Then bam. He drops the, you had five husbands bomb. Was that necessary- couldn’t that “let me throw your sin back in your face, haha” moment have been left out?

The woman has been through a lot. Clearly she knew that she was a sinner. Everyone knew she was a sinner. Why did she get water at noon when no one else got water? Because everyone knew she was a sinner. They had plenty of things to say to her, behind her, about her, about how she was a sinner. I think she wanted a break, to be free from those stares, from the judgements, from the profound loneliness that particularly seems to surface in a big crowd. So what’s the deal, Jesus? Was that necessary?

I imagine that a woman who has had five husbands is looking for something. Looking for love, maybe? Looking to be known through and through and still be loved? Looking for someone who is willing to take care of her?

The timing is pivotal. Jesus brings up the issue of five husbands after he already offered her the living water and after she already said that she wanted it. She must have had a nagging at the back of her brain, she must have been thinking something like, Shoot, I need to get this living stuff fast, before the crowds show up and enlighten him on who I am. I think Jesus was proving that he knew all the lurid details of her life and had made the offer anyways. He knew her through and through and still loved her. I also think Jesus knew that there is power in naming fear and in naming sin. I think Jesus wanted to release her from her perceived secret so that she could be free to have a real relationship with Him.

Notice that Jesus doesn’t follow up his statement with a big fat So come back when you ditch the guy. Nor does he say Never talk to men again. In fact, the people she first brings back to Jesus are men. Her biggest area of insecurity and hurt was given to Christ and he gave it back new and renewed. He transformed her into a leader, a mover and a shaker who like Jesus, crossed gender and class and religious norms to bring fresh, flowing, living water into the lives of others.

Holy God, help me to trust that you will love me even when my fear and my sin are exposed. Use me to bring mercy, love, freedom, and compassion into the lives of others.

An Ezer

And the Lord God said, “It isn’t good for man to be alone. I will create a companion, a helper suited to his needs.” Genesis 2:18

To me, the word “helper” is chalk-full of connotations. I think of little girl “helping” mom make cookies, ie: making a mess while mom does everything important. I think of someone less strong or less capable assisting someone more powerful or more skilled. So really, my go-to definition of a woman being a man’s “helper” is weak. Limited. Is this what God had in mind?

In Hebrew the word for “helper” is ezer. It turns out that the word ezer pops up everywhere in the Old Testament, and not just under our go-to definition. It describes how God tends to (or helps) His people. For example:

1. Exodus 18:14 says, “The God of my Father was my ezer and he delivered me from the sword of Pharaoh.” So in this instance, ezer means a warrior, a deliverer, a shield.

2. Psalm 70:5 says, “But I am afflicted and needy. Hasten to me, O God! Thou art my ezer and my deliverer.” Through this verse, we see that ezer can mean someone who supports, someone who offers relief to one who is suffering or lacking.

3. Psalm 121:1-2 says, “I will lift my eyes up to the mountains; from where shall my ezer come from? My ezer comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” These verses suggest that an ezer offers hope to a despondent and desperate heart.

So it seems that ezer isn’t a namby-pamby word. It is a strong, freeing word. It suggests that women were made to be warriors and deliverers. Were made to relieve suffering. Were made to offer hope to the sensitive, hurting places. To me this is something, not nothing. It challenges my go-to definition of femininity, but more, it broadens my picture of who God is. Genesis talks about how God made man AND woman in his image- together they give a more complete picture of the character of God.

I have been really struggling to know what the role of women is in the church. Heck, let’s be real, I’ve been struggling to know what MY role is in the church. It’s hard. It’s hard because society has some pretty twisted propaganda about how women are supposed to be. And really, historically the church also has had some pretty twisted ideas too. I mean, even theological big shots like Augustine said stuff like, “I cannot think of any reason for woman’s being made as man’s helper, if we dismiss the reason of procreation” (as quoted in Fincher, 2007, p. 90). Since women are God’s image-bearers, this is a pretty wimpy view of God- only good for producing stuff when we want it.

This refined definition of ezer makes me think that maybe, maybe, God has a bigger plan for women, a bigger plan for men, too. I couldn’t possibly pretend to have All The Answers- but reading through this, I have been challenged to rethink what I have been accepting as status quo- from the media, from the church, from what I tell myself. It challenges me to pursue the True Heart of God in how He sees people.

Holy God, you are so big and so beyond my comprehension. I worship you. Help me to pursue seeing who you are more clearly and to pursue seeing men and women as you see them- image-bearers of the Lord Creator.