When they saw him, they thought he was a ghost. They were terrified and started screaming.
Matt 14:22-32
Being in the middle is sometimes the worst spot. After a whole long day of miracles and teaching, Jesus sends his disciples across the lake while he himself goes away to have some alone time. The disciples know how to manoeuvre boats, they know the lake, the surrounding areas really well, and honestly, they only had a measly three-hour boat ride ahead of them. But then the lake gets choppy and a three-hour boat ride turns into an all-night, nine-hour struggle. And man, after having been awake all day and in the sun and now being awake all night, I can imagine that these disciples are pooped. And what happens when you are pooped and in the middle of an expansive, seemingly eternal activity? Tempers get high. Everyone gets crabby. No one feels spiritual. I can imagine there was a little bit of cussing on that boat, a little bit of James stop touching me or Peter, you’re rowing crooked again. I can imagine that it got to that moment of Okay, here we are. We are just going to put our heads down and row and focus and get ‘er done. And if you jog my elbow again I’m going to punch you.
So in the midst of all that tunnel vision rowing, Jesus shows up. But the problem is,
Stress + Unknown Quantity Walking on Water = FREAK OUT. And don’t we all freak out? Don’t we all have those moments of What in the world? Is God actually doing something or is it just my tired imagination screwing with me? Does God even exist or am I whirled up in a wild game of make-believe and really, isn’t it true that everything is meaningless? Why do we even live? Does that happen to you? It happens to me.
Doubt is one of those old, taught-for-generation ruts deeply ingrained in the human psyche. It’s my number one, go-to mechanism in the face of well, just about any situation. But the thing is, I also believe that The Enemy jerks and jolts on our old doubt strings to try to distract us from the fact that God’s mercy is near. That God’s mercy is about to wash over and clean out the crud from our eyes that keeps us from seeing clearly. That keeps us from seeing The King. Help is near.
Isn’t it challenging how Peter jumped out of the boat even though he wasn’t SURE in his deepest knower that it was actually Jesus? He wasn’t SURE that his imagination wasn’t leading him on a wild goose chase, making him see things that didn’t exist? How often am I willing to breath deeply and take action even though some Gollum voice in me tells me that maybe I’m crazy? And as Peter was floundering about trying to pursue who he thought was God, Jesus was there and created peace and clarity in the havoc. Help was near.
Help is near.
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