Drinking Water

You have well said, “I have no husband,” for you have had five husbands and the one you are with now is not your husband John 4:17

Well that was kind of a jerk move. Here Jesus is, in Samaria, subverting gender norms by talking to a woman, subverting class norms by talking to a Samaritan, subverting religious norms by talking to a sinner. They engage in conversation. He offers her living water. She responds affirmatively. Then bam. He drops the, you had five husbands bomb. Was that necessary- couldn’t that “let me throw your sin back in your face, haha” moment have been left out?

The woman has been through a lot. Clearly she knew that she was a sinner. Everyone knew she was a sinner. Why did she get water at noon when no one else got water? Because everyone knew she was a sinner. They had plenty of things to say to her, behind her, about her, about how she was a sinner. I think she wanted a break, to be free from those stares, from the judgements, from the profound loneliness that particularly seems to surface in a big crowd. So what’s the deal, Jesus? Was that necessary?

I imagine that a woman who has had five husbands is looking for something. Looking for love, maybe? Looking to be known through and through and still be loved? Looking for someone who is willing to take care of her?

The timing is pivotal. Jesus brings up the issue of five husbands after he already offered her the living water and after she already said that she wanted it. She must have had a nagging at the back of her brain, she must have been thinking something like, Shoot, I need to get this living stuff fast, before the crowds show up and enlighten him on who I am. I think Jesus was proving that he knew all the lurid details of her life and had made the offer anyways. He knew her through and through and still loved her. I also think Jesus knew that there is power in naming fear and in naming sin. I think Jesus wanted to release her from her perceived secret so that she could be free to have a real relationship with Him.

Notice that Jesus doesn’t follow up his statement with a big fat So come back when you ditch the guy. Nor does he say Never talk to men again. In fact, the people she first brings back to Jesus are men. Her biggest area of insecurity and hurt was given to Christ and he gave it back new and renewed. He transformed her into a leader, a mover and a shaker who like Jesus, crossed gender and class and religious norms to bring fresh, flowing, living water into the lives of others.

Holy God, help me to trust that you will love me even when my fear and my sin are exposed. Use me to bring mercy, love, freedom, and compassion into the lives of others.

An Ezer

And the Lord God said, “It isn’t good for man to be alone. I will create a companion, a helper suited to his needs.” Genesis 2:18

To me, the word “helper” is chalk-full of connotations. I think of little girl “helping” mom make cookies, ie: making a mess while mom does everything important. I think of someone less strong or less capable assisting someone more powerful or more skilled. So really, my go-to definition of a woman being a man’s “helper” is weak. Limited. Is this what God had in mind?

In Hebrew the word for “helper” is ezer. It turns out that the word ezer pops up everywhere in the Old Testament, and not just under our go-to definition. It describes how God tends to (or helps) His people. For example:

1. Exodus 18:14 says, “The God of my Father was my ezer and he delivered me from the sword of Pharaoh.” So in this instance, ezer means a warrior, a deliverer, a shield.

2. Psalm 70:5 says, “But I am afflicted and needy. Hasten to me, O God! Thou art my ezer and my deliverer.” Through this verse, we see that ezer can mean someone who supports, someone who offers relief to one who is suffering or lacking.

3. Psalm 121:1-2 says, “I will lift my eyes up to the mountains; from where shall my ezer come from? My ezer comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” These verses suggest that an ezer offers hope to a despondent and desperate heart.

So it seems that ezer isn’t a namby-pamby word. It is a strong, freeing word. It suggests that women were made to be warriors and deliverers. Were made to relieve suffering. Were made to offer hope to the sensitive, hurting places. To me this is something, not nothing. It challenges my go-to definition of femininity, but more, it broadens my picture of who God is. Genesis talks about how God made man AND woman in his image- together they give a more complete picture of the character of God.

I have been really struggling to know what the role of women is in the church. Heck, let’s be real, I’ve been struggling to know what MY role is in the church. It’s hard. It’s hard because society has some pretty twisted propaganda about how women are supposed to be. And really, historically the church also has had some pretty twisted ideas too. I mean, even theological big shots like Augustine said stuff like, “I cannot think of any reason for woman’s being made as man’s helper, if we dismiss the reason of procreation” (as quoted in Fincher, 2007, p. 90). Since women are God’s image-bearers, this is a pretty wimpy view of God- only good for producing stuff when we want it.

This refined definition of ezer makes me think that maybe, maybe, God has a bigger plan for women, a bigger plan for men, too. I couldn’t possibly pretend to have All The Answers- but reading through this, I have been challenged to rethink what I have been accepting as status quo- from the media, from the church, from what I tell myself. It challenges me to pursue the True Heart of God in how He sees people.

Holy God, you are so big and so beyond my comprehension. I worship you. Help me to pursue seeing who you are more clearly and to pursue seeing men and women as you see them- image-bearers of the Lord Creator.